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Dilemma with my life

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uenop1

New member
Nov 10, 2023
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UAE
#1
Hi everyone,

I'm a 23-year-old entrepreneur with about $150,000 in savings. I'm doing well, and I'm able to save more each month. However, I feel like I could lose it all at any moment, so I'm not able to feel at peace.

On the other hand, I have a mother who earns minimum wage (Germany) with her job (she really likes the job but it doesn't pay well). She doesn't have an extraordinary life. She pays her bills and buy food for her and my sister, and then she has no more money. Luckily, when I'm with her, I make her happy, and she doesn't lack anything. But in everyday life, she is limited. I send her money whenever she needs it in an emergency, and time to time as gift.

I live in Dubai, so I only see her once every two months.

So, here's the thing. On the one hand, I need to secure my future and invest my money to permanently lift my family out of poverty in the long term. I'm still young and I have the time with me so I can really start investing now and thank myself in 20 years (but my mother will be old by then).
On the other hand, my mother is still in her "prime" years (55), but she's not enjoying them to the fullest every day because of her financial situation. Even though I take her traveling and pay for restaurants when I'm there, etc. What should I do?

I take care of her when I'm with her, but I feel like I can do more. But in the other hand, 150k$ is not enough to retreat her (which is my dream) - And I'll be left with no money, not a smart move.

I feel a bit lost.

I'd appreciate any advice you can give me. I'm listening.

Thank you
 
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#3
Retiring parents is generally not a good idea, especially if they kinda like their job. There is a strong correlation between work-cessation and physical and mental decline. (Of course this is doesn't hold true for extreme cases, but on average) But if you can help her with a few biggest pain points that's cool. Btw I am unable to do that at all, I have very good relationship with my parents but they do not want to take any money from me. They are both earners still and I could retire them 10 times over.

In any case, hedonistic treadmill is overrated.
 
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#4
I agree with stronco.

Maybe you could also teach your mother a thing or two about investments, saving, etc. that could improve her spending habits and overall financial situation. You know, the classic "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime."

Also, in a few years I'm assuming that your sister will start working too, so your mother will save more because she won't need to support your sister anymore.
 
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#5
If you can afford it (and want to do it), cover some of her bills without dipping into your savings. If she pays rent or has a mortgage, pay that for her. For a low-income household, that would be a huge burden lifted.

Might be a good idea to make it clear you're doing it for the whole year of 2024 but don't promise to do it forever, in case her costs go up or your income goes down.

Unfortunately, you would have to check this with a tax adviser in Germany to make sure she can pay any gift taxes owed on the money she gets. This depends on how much you give, and whether there's some exception you can utilise.
 
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#7
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#8
uenop1 said:
I'm a 23-year-old entrepreneur with about $150,000 in savings.
Click to expand...
Not sufficient for any real emergency (medical, legal etc.).
uenop1 said:
I'm doing well, and I'm able to save more each month.
Click to expand...
Good, keep on doing that.
uenop1 said:
However, I feel like I could lose it all at any moment, so I'm not able to feel at peace.
Click to expand...
How could you lose it all? Perhaps you are not doing so well if you feel like that.
uenop1 said:
On the other hand, I have a mother who earns minimum wage (Germany) with her job (she really likes the job but it doesn't pay well).
Click to expand...
Does she feel insecure like you?
uenop1 said:
She doesn't have an extraordinary life.
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Did she tell you this? Or is this your own assumption?
uenop1 said:
She pays her bills and buy food for her and my sister, and then she has no more money.
Click to expand...
For doing what?
uenop1 said:
Luckily, when I'm with her, I make her happy,
Click to expand...
With your presence or with your money?
uenop1 said:
and she doesn't lack anything.
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She has good health, a job she likes, family and food. Are you referring to anything else?
uenop1 said:
But in everyday life, she is limited.
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To do what?
uenop1 said:
I send her money whenever she needs it in an emergency,
Click to expand...
What kind of emergency?
uenop1 said:
I live in Dubai, so I only see her once every two months.
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Are you trying to make her or you happy?
uenop1 said:
So, here's the thing. On the one hand, I need to secure my future and invest my money to permanently lift my family out of poverty in the long term.
Click to expand...
Your family doesn’t seem poor to me.
uenop1 said:
I'm still young and I have the time with me so I can really start investing now and thank myself in 20 years (but my mother will be old by then).
On the other hand, my mother is still in her "prime" years (55), but she's not enjoying them to the fullest every day because of her financial situation. Even though I take her traveling and pay for restaurants when I'm there, etc. What should I do?
Click to expand...
Move out of Dubai and see some slices of real world.
uenop1 said:
I take care of her when I'm with her, but I feel like I can do more. But in the other hand, 150k$ is not enough to retreat her (which is my dream)
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Is this also her dream?
uenop1 said:
- And I'll be left with no money, not a smart move.
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If money if everything for you.
uenop1 said:
I feel a bit lost.
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I suggest you check your testosterone levels and make some real world experiences. Get out of the fake Bedouin world.
uenop1 said:
I'd appreciate any advice you can give me. I'm listening.

Thank you
Click to expand...
Did you ever ask your mom what she wants?
 
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#9
Okay @JohnnyDoe, now I'm quite sure that you are not good and also do not have children - or at least they don't like you - your view is not family-minded rof/%

I'm sure you're sitting on a beach in Nassau, looking at ladies and cocktails, and getting annoyed with everyone else who passes by your way while you count your lot's of money rof/%rof/%
 
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#10
Investigate with the German tax authorities and an accountant how you can give your mother money as a gift or possibly pay the rent, as @Sols already suggested, so that she can pay the least amount of tax possible.
 
#11
EliasIT said:
Okay @JohnnyDoe, now I'm quite sure that you are not good
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I only know I’m not gay
EliasIT said:
and also do not have children - or at least they don't like you - your view is not family-minded rof/%
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We are talking of parents here, not children. 23yo kids living in Dubai with “life dilemmas” should have been sent to military service by their parents.
EliasIT said:
I'm sure you're sitting on a beach in Nassau, looking at ladies and cocktails, and getting annoyed with everyone else who passes by your way while you count your lot's of money rof/%rof/%
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My property is fenced, only crabs and turtles are allowed uninvited on the beach.
 
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#12
@JohnnyDoe 's truth hits hard as it should be!

are you the same guy running away from Germany tax agency with a tax debt of 150k? and you think to have enough money to help your mum in Germany?
lol you've got more issues than your mom for sure!

https://www.offshorecorptalk.com/threads/can-eu-seizes-money-from-my-uae-bank-accounts.43172/

koohl said:
Investigate with the German tax authorities and an accountant how you can give your mother money as a gift or possibly pay the rent, as @Sols already suggested, so that she can pay the least amount of tax possible.
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the guy admitted in the linked thread above to have a 150k debt with DE or other tax agency lol I guess the German tax authorities want to investigate him not the other way around smi(&%
 
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#13
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#15
marioIT said:
the guy admitted in the linked thread above to have a 150k debt with DE or other tax agency lol I guess the German tax authorities want to investigate him not the other way around smi(&%
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I didn't read that, now I understand.

There is not much to do then, the tax man will be watching the entire family and if they can see money coming from her son owing them 150K sitting in Dubai it will mean lot's of troubles. But if they don't he could slip away transferring money here and there to her mother but it will never be good.
 
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